Life Hits You Like a Brick

So here comes the break up disguised in the name "break" and he isn't aware he's softened the blow by giving it his own name. Along with this brings urges and sicknesses from curiosity. They ask and I answer, stirring up everything I thought I had pushed away. The dilemma of basically being homeless and not knowing wrong from right is twisting my morals all around. It's as if I'm on a leash and I don't think anyone could feel as I feel. My happiness has just kinda withered away. I want to sing this off of my chest, just let my words flow. But I only sing in isolation and silence. I don't want anyone to hear me or my voice. I don't even know what I want anymore. I feel like life is just tightening its grip around my neck and forcing me to to face what I've tried to overlook. I know I have things to do and I can't stay here forever, I don't want to stay here forever. And then what makes me hurt the most is how much I yearn for a good set of stable parents to help me and be close when I need them. To hug them, laugh with them, and to SEE them. Unlike most of these brats, I haven't had a stable hand to hold my hand as I grew. I only had phone calls, drunk idiots, and harsh childhood memories. And now that I've seen this for what it is, why the hell is it still affecting me?