March.30.2011
♦And it’s official: I am no less than 10 Mondays from graduating and saying goodbye to my high school days. And to think I thought turning eighteen was a big deal? HA. This is tragic...amazing...nerve wrecking…terrifying…LIBERATING…and oh so doubtful. I have changed my mind from graphic designer to elementary school teacher to lowering my standards to what’s going to give me money. However, money will make me happy. Money will support any future family I have. Money is truly what keeps lives running. Forget the heart. No, we’re nothing without money. We aren’t adequate with ourselves until we deck ourselves out in materialistic fashions that cloud and vaporize our TRUE images, but candy coat our bodies in order to view what we “want” to see. What our society wants to see. We are mere products of this world and we have, in every subliminal way, fallen into a pattern. Even those who wish to stand out are conforming. Conformists are conforming. And at last, the economy has broken me. I’m so worried about where I’m going to be in ten years, that I have strayed away from my child hood dream. I have been enveloped in an intelligent decision based on statistics and let my childhood dreams get thrown out with my old dolls. I have been persuaded time and time again that my dream is just a dream because it will never come true. And to be honest, I have no soul to prove anyone wrong. Now, in my senior year, I just want to be successful. At least I have a good outlook on what I want to become. In order for me to be a teacher, I need to like kids. I love kids. Maybe not high school kids, but I love kids and people. I love communicating. I absolutely love helping and being of assistance. Which leaves me with that one measly question: Why not? As of my current job status, I have finally gotten a job paying 8 dollars an hour. Personally, that is NOT bad. I’m working at McDonald Garden Center, helping customers and tending to plants and after filling out paperwork tomorrow, I start working. Am I excited? More than you know. I have an urge to work. I have an urge to dedicate assistance to those who need me. It’s sickening how much of a people person I am when the world is so full of bull-shit. In the end though, just knowing the irony in that last statement can make me love the trait even more.♦
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